1.  The PRIMARY thought that should rush to mind when confronting
    a user's problem is:

A.  WHAT HAS CHANGED?
B.  WHAT DOES THE CLIENT NEED?
C.  HOW DID THEY GET MY PHONE NUMBER?
D.  CAN THIS WAIT UNTIL AFTER LUNCH/WORK?
E.  CAN THIS WAIT UNTIL THE NEXT PERSON TAKES OVER THIS JOB?

2.  In debugging a user's problems with a network, the most useful
    tool is often:
A.  The Activity lights on the machine's network card
B.  The State and activity lights on the switch/router port
C.  A Lan Analyser
D.  A Lie Detector
E.  Twenty feet of Duck Tape and a cattle prod.


3.  You're at an executive meeting when a manager claims that you
    failed to treat their problem with a correct amount of urgency.
    You:
A.  Ask for the Helpdesk Job ID so that you can track the call
B.  Admit that it's sometimes difficult for a user to understand
    how jobs are prioritized
C.  Deny everything
D.  Admit everything, and say that prioritisation is done at the
    helpdesk.
E.  Say "Was that bestiality pictures that wouldn't come out in
    full colour?   No?  Oh, I was sure it was you.  Must have
    been someone else >wink<"


4.  Speaking of Priorities, you have calls from the Data Processing
    Pool, the Chief Beancounter and a pleb from P.R.  Your priorities
    are:
A.  The Chief beancounter, P.R, then the DP Pool
B.  The Chief beancounter, D.P Pool, then P.R.
C.  The women in DP.  The PFY will get the rest.
D.  The women in DP.  Were there other calls?
E.  The women in DP.  Followed by an informal feedback session
    at Kareoke night at the local drinker.  Your shout.
    

5.  The Adage "Separate the Problem from the Cause" in computing 
        terms means:
A.  Diagnose the actual problem as opposed to it's effects
B.  Prevent Faulty Software from further compromising data
C.  Lock the problem down to a specific set of events
D.  Lock the User's Keyboard in the Tape Safe.
E.  Lock the User in the Tape Safe


Mostly A's:     You're a Computer Science student aren't you?
                Problem solving doesn't work like that in the
                real world.

Mostly B's:     Yet another lean and green candidate!  Did they
                teach you that at the Helpdesk training school.
                BAD HELPDESK OPERATOR, NO DECAF!

Mostly C's:     You're soft, but you're getting the idea.  A
                bit more overcaffinated coffee, a few sleepless
                nights, and you'll be A-Grade material

Mostly D's:     You walk the walk, but the talk's still a bit
                of a mystery isn't it.  Remember: They're lying
                to you!
Mostly E's:     What can we tell you that you don't already
                know?  Nothing - of course!